Today we are going to look at one of the 6 characteristics that make a family biblical that I outlined at the launch of this blog. That characteristic is “the husband is the head of the household.” I believe this is one of the most important characteristics for husbands (and wives) to understand and adhere to. It’s important because 1) it’s biblical and 2) it represents a struggle for a lot of men.
The husband being the head is a dynamic that is now seen as traditional and outdated. Men don’t live up to this standard and women don’t like it because they don’t want someone over them. Yet, I believe that this dynamic fulfills a natural desire for both the man and the woman. As I mentioned in an earlier post about why husbands like video games, men want to be heroes. What is a hero? He’s a leader. He’s someone people look to for help, safety, and protection. Men naturally have this desire, it’s something that God gave them. A woman’s natural desire is to feel secure. She wants assurance that she is safe, protected, and cared for. I don’t care what the feminists say. At the core of every woman is the need to know that she has security, that she is worthy, that she is loved. This is the way God made them. And how do women feel that they are secure? By having a leader (hero) to rely on.
So when a husband is the head of his household, his desire to be a leader is fulfilled and the wife’s desire to feel secure is fulfilled. But when the husband is ruled over by his wife, or when a wife has no choice by take the reins because her husband refuses, this God-given dynamic is ruined. And along with that, their natural, God-given desires go unfulfilled.
So what does being the head look like? Guys, the greatest example of leadership I can point you to is Jesus Christ. The more you look like Him the better leader you’ll be for your family. Jesus was a servant leader. I think being a servant is a key part of being a leader. Leadership doesn’t always mean glory, dominance, and dictation. For Jesus, leadership took Him to the cross. I strongly believe that it is this kind of leader that husbands are meant to be. You are to be a servant, someone who humbly leads with love and wisdom, someone who lays down his life for the ones he loves. You will not get anywhere making demands of your wife or letting her run the show by herself. It is not healthy for your marriage. You are the leader and you are to serve your family by protecting them, providing for them, and guiding them to godly living. You cannot do that by being a dictator or by being uninvolved. God has called you to an important role. Your wife needs to know that she is secure under your headship and your children need to know that they can rely on you.
You want to be a hero? Lead your family. Serve them.