Miscarriage eBook Release

About 5 months ago I was invited to join a group of 13 other Christian women bloggers in creating an ebook. Our common goal was to compile our stories describing our journey through grief and healing after miscarriage. We wanted to offer hope and healing to women who have gone through the pain of losing a pregnancy. photo-2

The ebook is now finished and is available for free. I have included the ebook at the end of this post. It will open in a pdf file and you may save it to your computer or eReader device.

Please share this ebook so that it can reach as many women as possible. I am excited about how the Lord will use this book in bringing healing to women who are hurting.

As I was reading all of the stories, I noticed a common statement. Many of the women stated within their stories that “God is still God.” I think that is the greatest source of hope. That no matter what we face, what pain we feel, what emotional turmoil we go through, God is still God.

So please, if you are searching for hope and healing after a miscarriage, or you know someone who is, read this ebook. You will find that the healing doesn’t come from reading our stories (though that will certainly help) but the healing comes from the One we constantly point to. Jesus is our Salvation, our Shelter, our Hope, our Redeemer, and our Source of healing. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3


Read the ebook here:
From Expectation to Miscarriage


Real Marriage: The Porn Path

Chapter 8 of Real Marriage deals with the issue of pornography. I’m not going to write a whole lot concerning this topic because I did a four part series about pornography not too long ago so I feel like I would just be repeating myself. To read those posts, click on the following links:

Pornography & the Family

Pornography & Marriage

Porn & Parenting: 6 Ways to Protect your Child

Pornography Follow Up

I will sum up and highlight some of what the Driscolls had to say on this topic.

Most experts agree there are four basic aspects to virtually all heterosexual pornography, which constitutes the majority of porn:

1. The message is consistent that all women want sex from all men all the time in all kinds of bizarre ways and are essentially nymphomaniacs.

2. Women really enjoy whatever any man does to them sexually.

3. And woman who does not meet the stereotype of points 1 and 2 can quickly be changed through a bit of force or intimidation.

4. The woman is dominated and degraded by the man in a way that exploits her as essentially a tool for the pleasure of the man and not really a person, but rather, parts.

Pornography rewires the brain. It creates a fantasy world in which these four points are the “norm.” When this happens, reality is no longer satisfying. Real men and women aren’t attractive because our brains have been rewired to desire a porn star. We no longer crave intimacy but simply lust after more and harder porn. It is destructive to our marriages and to our souls.

Unfortunately, many many people, more and more being women, struggle with a porn addiction. It is a very real problem in many, if not most, marriages. It needs to be fought. Repentance and redemption need to be sought.

The Driscolls offer “some practical advice for those wanting to be free of porn and sinful lust, as well as those spouses who love them.”

1. You must be honest with yourself.

2. You must be honest with God.

3. You must be honest with your spouse.

4. You must put your sexual sin to death by the grace of God.

5. You must submit to God the Holy Spirit.

This is the only way to be free. Repent, confess, put your sin to death, and cling to the Holy Spirit to help you run away from temptation.

Our marriages are worth it.

Real Marriage: Disgrace and Grace

file6461281015948This chapter of Real Marriage dealt with sexual abuse. Grace Driscoll shared her story of past abuse and how it had effected her and her marriage. Fortunately, I have never been a victim of abuse so I couldn’t relate with this issue. I can’t speak from that perspective. What I can speak from, however, is having something disgraceful in your past creep up into your present and wreck its havoc.

It’s easy when we’re single and it’s “just me” to ignore issues. If we ignore it or just find a way to move past it then the problem will never bother us again. But when we’re married, we’re not “just me” anymore. Now we have a spouse and possibly children. We have a family and our problems no longer effect “just me” but them as well. What was easily pushed away, what was easily contained by the wall we built up around it, isn’t so easy to ignore or shrug off anymore.

For example, I have grown up with an anger problem and a need for perfection. When I was single, I used those things to my advantage. My perfectionism got me a great GPA. My anger fueled my passion. When things got out of control it wasn’t a big deal because I was good at hiding it and pushing through the pain. But then I got married and my anger grew worse. It was harder to contain it and even harder to ignore it. Then my son came along and my anger grew even worse and it became even harder to contain and ignore. The reason for this is because it wasn’t just me anymore. When it was just me I could more or less control my environment and keep up the wall that harbored all of my anger. I couldn’t do that anymore when it came to marriage and motherhood where my involvement, attention, affection, and every part of who I am was demanded of me. I couldn’t control my environment no matter how hard I tried. My husband didn’t function within my well guarded and well maintained world and my son had an entirely different plan, schedule, and way of living as a child in his world.

I came to the end of myself. How I dealt with my anger (which was basically not dealing with it) was causing depression which rendered me incapable of functioning. I had to get help and not just for my sake, but for the sake of my husband and especially my son.

You see, how I dealt with and responded to my anger was a disgrace. How I had harbored it, ignored it, and let it get to the point of effecting my family was a disgrace. But in finally facing the disgrace I found grace.

I think we each have a story of how God has redeemed our disgraces or the hurt that was inflicted upon us. And I think some of us, by God’s goodness, have found grace and peace in our marriages. For me personally, I know the Lord used Kyle to usher peace and grace into my life when we met. And the Lord continually uses Kyle to maintain that peace and grace in not only my life but in our marriage and in our home.

What about you? What is your story of disgrace and grace? How has it effected your marriage and how has your marriage effected your story? Feel free to share in the comment section!