A Year Later

The past year, June 2016 to June 2017, has been a bit of a whirlwind. A lot of changes have taken place. First, I had my fourth miscarriage. That was a very unexpected event and was the hardest of all my miscarriages to walk through. I guess I thought since I had my daughter that having miscarriages was behind me. It was a long road to acceptance and healing.

In September 2016 we bought our first house! After four years our little duplex had gotten too small and crowded. We moved to a 1500 square foot house which has felt like a palace compared to the duplex! All of the extra space has been a blessing. My kitchen is twice the size of the old one. You would think I’d be baking twice the amount of baked goods but for the most part I have taken a break from baking.

At the end of November I was really starting to get frustrated with my weight. I knew I needed to make some changes but I had no motivation. I can admit that going through another loss of a baby completely depleted me of “giving a crap” so I ate what I wanted.  Much of what I wanted was junk food and sweets. Alllllllll the sweets. But of course with the holidays coming up I knew I wouldn’t get very far so I put the weight loss off again.

In December I had my yearly medical check-up and I weighed in at 170 pounds. That is the most I have ever weighed. I knew I really needed to do something. The motivation still wasn’t really there but slowly I began exercising. I still wasn’t eating great and my exercise was less than minimal. Between December and March, I lost six pounds. In March I finally got my act together and joined a weight loss challenge. That was the push and accountability I needed to get motivated and get to work. I started making healthier choices, watching my portions, and working out six days a week. At the end of the 10 week challenge I had lost 14 pounds! With the 6 pounds I had previously lost, I am down a total of 20 pounds. I’m not at my goal yet but I have definitely made a dent.

My kids have also grown a year older in the past year. Mikaela is 2 and Grayson is 5! Birthdays are emotional days for moms for so many reasons. It’s especially emotional for me on Grayson’s birthday because he was born premature. Looking at those pictures of him in the NICU always gets me choked up. And of course with birthdays and growing comes new stages of childhood and child raising.

Grayson has been in the “why?” stage for a while now. Everything is “why?”

“Why is that car going that way?”

“I don’t know, wherever that person is going is in that direction.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Just because.”

“But why?”

It’s exhausting. I love that he’s thinking and that he’s curious. Some of his questions are really great and give me an opportunity to teach him something new. But the random questions that I can’t answer are exasperating.

Grayson also just recently finished a soccer class. He learned the basics of soccer and has proven to have a natural ability and skill for the game. His favorite position was goalie even though there are no goalies at his age. At every scrimmage he stood in the net and stopped those goals. The coach was pretty impressed with him and I’m not just saying that because I’m his mom! He really is a good little player.

Mikaela is a sweet little girl who has become very verbal in the past few months. She is talking a lot and sings too! Her favorite song is The Wheels on the Bus. She also likes to color and play games. Her laughter is contagious and she loves being with her brother. They have a very sweet relationship. She is a joy but she also has an attitude and is quite stubborn. She is definitely my more difficult child. She has my independent spirit, my “I-don’t-care-what-people-think” attitude, my toughness, and my stubbornness. She’s blessed and she’s cursed, this one. Hopefully I will be able to teach her how to use her power for good and not for evil. 😉

Kyle is a private man so I won’t say much about him. He’s lost a lot of weight as well and has been rocking it as employee, husband, and father. He’s pretty cool I guess.

So, things have been changing and happening, most of which has been good. I have a piece of paper on my fridge that says, “The Lord is sovereign and does all things according to His purpose. Nothing is outside of His control.” It serves as a reminder to not only trust the Lord in everything but reminds me why I must trust Him. Even when things are good, there is always something that can be worried about or stressed over. As a young mom with littles, there are days that can be terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. But I’m trying to remember that the Lord is sovereign over all things. He’s sovereign over the good and the bad. What lies ahead for the rest of this year is still a mystery. So much is unknown and that can be unsettling. However, the Lord not only knows but decrees. If I can’t find peace in that then I won’t ever have peace about anything. So I must move forward, take one day at a time, and trust that He holds all things together for His purposes and for His glory.