Real Marriage: The Porn Path

Chapter 8 of Real Marriage deals with the issue of pornography. I’m not going to write a whole lot concerning this topic because I did a four part series about pornography not too long ago so I feel like I would just be repeating myself. To read those posts, click on the following links:

Pornography & the Family

Pornography & Marriage

Porn & Parenting: 6 Ways to Protect your Child

Pornography Follow Up

I will sum up and highlight some of what the Driscolls had to say on this topic.

Most experts agree there are four basic aspects to virtually all heterosexual pornography, which constitutes the majority of porn:

1. The message is consistent that all women want sex from all men all the time in all kinds of bizarre ways and are essentially nymphomaniacs.

2. Women really enjoy whatever any man does to them sexually.

3. And woman who does not meet the stereotype of points 1 and 2 can quickly be changed through a bit of force or intimidation.

4. The woman is dominated and degraded by the man in a way that exploits her as essentially a tool for the pleasure of the man and not really a person, but rather, parts.

Pornography rewires the brain. It creates a fantasy world in which these four points are the “norm.” When this happens, reality is no longer satisfying. Real men and women aren’t attractive because our brains have been rewired to desire a porn star. We no longer crave intimacy but simply lust after more and harder porn. It is destructive to our marriages and to our souls.

Unfortunately, many many people, more and more being women, struggle with a porn addiction. It is a very real problem in many, if not most, marriages. It needs to be fought. Repentance and redemption need to be sought.

The Driscolls offer “some practical advice for those wanting to be free of porn and sinful lust, as well as those spouses who love them.”

1. You must be honest with yourself.

2. You must be honest with God.

3. You must be honest with your spouse.

4. You must put your sexual sin to death by the grace of God.

5. You must submit to God the Holy Spirit.

This is the only way to be free. Repent, confess, put your sin to death, and cling to the Holy Spirit to help you run away from temptation.

Our marriages are worth it.

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