When Feeling Less Than

When this blog first began to take form in my mind I was very excited. The idea kept becoming more clear and defined and I kept thinking, “I can totally do this!” I thanked God for giving me the idea and I have prayed that He would work through this blog to reach people.

But recently I have felt under attack, burdened, and a little beaten down. I’ve been thinking, “How can I do this? I am so inadequate. How can I write a blog about family when my own family is going through so much hardship right now? How can I help other women to be biblical wives and mothers when I am so NOT biblical at times? When I have so much more growing to do myself?”

I know these feelings and thoughts are not from God. If we all waited until we were completely done growing and maturing until we decided to act we would never do anything. God can use me despite my imperfections and I have no doubt that He’ll use this blog to stretch me and make me holier in the areas I am not. He’s the real creator anyway, I’m just His tool, and I don’t have to be perfect to be His tool.

Thinking about this brought me to the realization that this way of thinking is so common for women. We have this huge desire to never fail as a wife and mother. We live in almost constant fear and guilt that we are screwing everything up. We want to keep our husbands happy, we want to meet our children’s needs, and we want to keep ourselves together. We put on and put on, adding more and more to our lives. We have to do this, we have to be this, we have to look like this. There is so much pressure and when we step back and look at it all we feel very inadequate.

I can’t do this, I can’t be this, and I can’t look like that.

And then we start feeling “less than,” unworthy, unable, and just plain NOT. And it’s when we start feeling these negative feelings and thinking these negative thoughts that Satan really starts to do his dirty work. We start to believe these thoughts and feelings and we act out of that belief. We become depressed, drained, angry, and hopeless. And when we feel that way, it effects how we function as a wife and a mother. When that happens, we must take our thoughts captive. We must stop and pray. We must remember who we are in Christ, what He has called us to do, and most of all, we need to remember that He loves us. He cares about what we go through. He cares about the daily duties that can drag us down, the children that can test our patience, the husband who may not always understand, and the fatigue that pulls at our spirits. He cares about our mundane or not-so-mundane days at home with our kids. He loves us and He cares.

I was at my sister’s house the other day and I noticed a quote that was posted above her kitchen sink. It’s from a post written by The Mob Society, a blog for moms of boys. It reads, “My steps are worship. In folding and washing and scrubbing and wiping and cleaning up all the nasty – I’m glorifying God. I’m worshiping with my washcloth. I’m praising God with my sacrifice.

Those boys – they’ll never be thankful enough to make this job worthwhile.

But Jesus will. And that’s enough for me.

If we could all have this attitude…if we could all remember Jesus and His divine plan as we wash loads of laundry, soothe our cranky babies, go without eating because we’re running around all day, and just going through our daily grind as wives and mothers, we would be less likely to think on lies. We wouldn’t believe that we’re less than because we would remember that we’re being good stewards of the life God has given us. We’re being helpers and life sustainers. We’re being wives. We’re being mothers.

We’ll never be perfect here on Earth, within this flesh. We’ll get angry, we’ll yell, we’ll cry, we’ll give up. We’ll come to the end of ourselves and declare we don’t want to do it anymore. This is human and this is what we are. But we need to give ourselves grace, just as God does. He is perfect and He can work through and beyond our imperfection. So give yourself some grace today and remind yourself of Who you belong to, Who you are living for, and that He has a plan that includes, but is so much bigger than, our daily lives. Be a wife and a mother who simply works with God’s kingdom in sight.

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